Down with UPS

First of all, does anyone get the joke in the title? Down with UPS? As in "ups", the direction up? Contradicting directions... It's funny. Laugh, damn you!

But yeah, UPS is not my friend. We use UPS at work, constantly. I know I've spoken about a recent 15,000+ piece mailing we did at work for our big NFL client... And now, I have homework for the weekend, dealing with the billing of this mailing.

My boss wants to pay the now overdue invoices UPS has sent us. What UPS wants is for us to pay our bill for our regular shipments and to try to estimate the price for the mailers, and single out the Address Corrections [whenever UPS finds an error with an address and corrects it, they charge you $8. We have 1,000+ such corrections] and pay everything BUT the Address Corrections, and the estimated left over after the contracted rate of the mailers.

Did that make sense?

Okay. Each mailer was just over $4. But the contract states we will be CREDITED afterward. Meaning we paid our usual discounted rate, probably about double or more than this contracted rate. So we paid for our usual customer shipments under our negotiated rates. We also paid for the mailers under that same rate, but need to only pay it under the contracted rate. We also don't want to pay for the address corrections.

So I need to take the whole bill... Find out how many mailers we did, times that by the contracted rate and a fuel surcharge to get what is estimated to be the actual price we're paying. Then whatever's left over is our regular shipments and the part we're cutting off of the mailers... So... How do you separate the regular shipments from the remainder of the mailers to know what you're paying?

No way to do it. Thus, my problem. I can cut out the address corrections easily because it displays all of those. Simple count, times total by 8, minus from the bill. That's not bad. Trying to figure out the actual rest of it, which I described above... And I have a headache.

So think about that philosophy... If you can figure it out.