Evolution Revolution

Just think. Once upon a time, this mature, handsome, modest catch of a man was a child, a teenager. And back in the day, though it's hard to believe, he was a lot more close-minded about a lot of different things. Music, movies, people... [No, I was never racist. It had nothing to do with race, more about how a person acted] pretty much anything you can think of. I only listened to a certain kind of a music, dressed a certain way and did pretty much everything this way, never that way or those ways because they were the ways of "losers" or "normal" people. I didn't like entire genres of music because the friends I kept didn't seem to like them and I admit, I wanted to be cool.

Of course, I also actually DO like the things I was into. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an utter sell-out where I put myself through misery just to be liked. I was never that bad.

But now that I'm "older" [21 is "older"?! For this little bit, I guess it has to be to make the sentence work. But that's neither here nor there] I can see signs all around me that I'm evolving as a person without limitations or restricting mindsets.

I can openly admit there's music out there that some people scoff at... Britney Spears' "Radar" song. That immensely popular "Fire Burning" song from Sean Kingston... Having grown up listening to almost only KoRn, Slipknot, Marilyn Manson, Seether, Disturbed and other "heavy metal" bands, these kinds of things are a major turn around for me.

Same thing with movies, but I guess you can blame my sister for that. Her sense of what's cool is very different than mine, as she's into rap, likes what most people would call "stupid funny" movies and tends to dress a lot more "jock" than I ever did. She and I would watch movies that we both liked, but I don't think I ever let anyone else realize or know that I did. "How High" is a great reference, as we always used to watch it when my sister came home to do laundry.

Then there are things that I simply opened up about without caring about opinions from other people. I openly admit that I am very strict with what I believe is right and not right, that I'm opinionated to a fault and that I have no problem being the asshole in any situation. Sometimes, I even feel that assholishness is necessary... Sometimes, someone has to say the things no one wants to hear to realize that things have to change or be realized. That someone is usually me. Sometimes, someone has to do things that people may not want to do but know they're the right things to BE done. That someone is usually me.

Of course, I also have to be more open minded that I'm occasionally [sometimes REALLY oftenly] egotistical. This may be one of those times... You've been warned.

I've lost friendships because of the way I am, but I'm actually happy with my personality. I remember being a kid and I would sort of... Assimilate other traits from other people into myself. It helped me relate to other people because we had this one thing in common, but it wasn't a common thing between us until we met and I adopted whatever the trait was. I think I still do it to a degree, but I also believe that my own personality has become strong enough to be itself without anyone's help.

Did that make sense? I re-read it about three times and wasn't sure. Maybe all of this rambling is really... Me talking myself up. My ego getting the better of me.

After all... What else could talking about myself be, aside from ego? Except maybe... TRUTH?!

~Class Dismissed~

Civil War

So, Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 came out on the 15th this past week and I reserved it the day before [for the Juggernaut character I still haven't gotten the chance to play because my xBox 360 Live subscription is up... More on this later] and paid it in full, assuming it'd be as entertaining and amazing as the first one. And I've been playing it little by little throughout the week and yesterday and today, I spent most of the two days beating it. And, well...

I'm disappointed.

For starters, I think there were more characters to play in the first one. Not counting Juggernaut, who's available only with a reserve, there's only 24 characters in the game [that are playable, anyway] There's the obvious favorites... Captain American, Ironman, Wolverine, Spiderman, Hulk, etc. etc. But still, there's only 24 and a lot of them were in the last game. People like Iceman, Deadpool, Ms. Marvel, Luke Cage [more on this later]... Who cares about these guys? Yeah, they're great heroes, but they were in the first game and it's not like they're invaluable heroes.

They did give us some new guys to mess with... And some guys who weren't on the regular version of the first one, but were downloadable, or included in the "Gold" version of the last game... Like Venom. But then there were losers like Songbird, Penance, Iron Fist... Who CARES? I know they're decent heroes, I know they've had decent hero careers, but these aren't the guys I want to play as.

Havok. Bishop. Cable. It'd be kinda cool to see or get to play as X-23, the clone of Logan that spawned her own mini-series... But guys who are well known, but rarely seen in these games. Let me play THEM!

As for the whole "Fusion" thing, I've heard a lot of people complaining that there aren't enough "unique" fusions, and I have to say; Duh? They have 24 people that all have to fuse with one another. Obviously they're going to run out of steam. Besides, some of these guys only have so much they can do. Take Wolverine. He can either team up with buff/explosive guys and they do the whole "run/double hit" attack or he teams with someone who shoots stuff from somewhere and they shoot him and he deflects it with his claws. Beyond that, what can Logan really do?! Except get thrown at people by, say, the Hulk or Thing. But those are really his three options. I can't think of anything else he could do with anyone else's power because his power is limited as close-combat. So get over the "lack of uniqueness" and enjoy what they gave you; A decent super hero game.

I was disappointed in the ending. So disappointed that I stopped caring about how to unlock Thor and Hulk, really. I mean, the end saw the Alliance back together for a few quick missions to determine that the Tinkerer was behind everything?! THE FREAKING TINKERER?! Didn't we kick his ass in Act 1?! Yeah, yeah we did. And he's the boss. Nice. I kinda saw it coming, since Von Bardas came back as a cyborg in Act 2. I figured with the big threat being nanities, that it'd be either her or someone else really smart/technical, but more evil than Tinkerer... He's not really... Very threatening. Why not Mr. Sinister? Stryfe, Cable's alternative self? Someone... MORE!

I did love one thing; Gambit was in this one! And his alternative costume was Death from his days as a Horseman of the Apocalypse, which was awesome. I loved tossing explosive crap at people. A cool ability would have been that if he threw anything like debris, it was charged with the same kinetic energy and exploded. But hey, you can't have it all. I did like some of the banter between certain characters, though. It was fun to watch them go back and forth.

Oh, yeah. My "Luke Cage [more on this later]" rant. WHY IS THIS GUY SO FREAKING POPULAR NOW?! He was in Marvel 1, a major player in Marvel 2 and in Spiderman Web of Shadows, he was the head of Act 1. For the love of Stan Lee, I never considered Luke Cage that big of a deal. But somehow, he's being made into one.

Someone stop this crap!

~Class Dimissed~

3/4

For starters, I'm 3/4 [hence the title] of the way to 100 posts here... Kinda cool, eh? It's been a good 75 posts, getting to share some nutty ideas and vent some frustrations and whatnot. Here's to 3/4 more?

I find myself constantly finding people doing insane, stupid things. My manager at work tends grumble and rant and rave to himself. Except that some times, it's just half-sentence of swearing and anger and when I listen to him, I can't help but think "... You're an idiot."

Of course, I don't think my manager is really an idiot. He runs all of Production and helps us in the Warehouse on the side. He does all this intelligently and for the most part, as fairly as possible. I think he can be kind of harsh with our new kid, but Manager's older and he was kind of strict with me until I started doing things I didn't need to do to help out... And once I started staying for overtime, that's when Manager really warmed up to me; I think I proved myself to him for the company's best interest.

But hearing people do that... "Shit, fuck, God dammit, why can't anyone fucking, Jesus Christ!" cracks me up. When I rant, when I go on and on and on and on [and on!] about stupid shit, at least I'm saying something. [Whether or not anyone gives a damn]

Ahh, technology. Gotta love things like my iPhone. I've been doing something I never saw myself doing; buying music on iTunes. So far, I've bought like 15 songs, which is strange. As a child, I admit I downloaded a few songs in my time [Thank you, Kazaa] but having invested so much money in my CD's, I guess I eventually started to dislike it. It kills the music industry, little by little, and music is too precious to me for me to want to kill it, even if I'm a small percentage in the grand scheme of things.

Thus, money = songs. I only spend a few bucks a week, so it's all good.

Under 2 months until I move! As a matter of fact, I think Bunny and I have a month and a half soon... Which is great, because we can't wait! On the other hand, we haven't packed a damn thing and need to clean the house, so it's that age-old double-edged sword.

Not to mention, we're both working stupidly long hours... I'm working 12 hour days this entire week to attempt to catch up to our goals [which, so far, we're not doing] We're actually re-hiring a guy we let go last year just to try to get more orders done. It's insane. We're shipping 60 orders a day for the NFL and we're still falling further and further behind. Meaning they're entering more than 60 orders a day! Jesus...

Ah well. Being busy means you've got work. I just hope that next year, we do things a little differently and can prepare better than this year.

I don't know if I've said this in the blog lately, but I've said it out loud; My company has one "big bang" season; Back to school. Our contracted work picks up for back to school... We ship orders for colleges for back to school... And NFL Flag starts... Guess when? BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON!

Fuck. My. Life.

~Class Dismissed~

Personal Confusion

For starters... I'm 21 now. I went out on my birthday and got wasted [and inevitably wound up puking in a friend's toilet] and it was fun. I'm enjoying the idea that I can go to a bar after work for a beer, or take Bunny out on her day off to a club/bar if she's in the mood for that without having to worry about being carded or just not let in. It's a good feeling to finally be considered an "adult", I guess.

When I turned 21, I was contacted by an uncle I rarely ever spoke to and years ago... Well, my family and him/his wife, stopped talking, eventually. I haven't gotten a phone call or a birthday card from this man in... Years. But I got one this year because my grandmother on his/my father's side left me money in savings bonds for when I turned 21. I'm... Really not sure how I feel right now.

I can describe certain feelings going through my head. But all together, I couldn't tell you in one word or even 20 words how I am. I'm... Angry. Frustrated. Hurt. Depressed. Confused. Bitter. And a lot more. There are some feelings that are up to a level that I don't think they have words to define them anymore.

And in the end, I guess I shouldn't care, right? I walked away with over... Well, I walked away with a lot of money. Let's leave it at that. But still, the visit seemed tainted. The entire time I was there, I was asked about my life, my writing, my work... Etc. etc., but it wasn't about me. I wasn't there for him to get to know me or ask about all of the stuff I was asked about... I was there to get money from the director of my grandmother's estate. He was more of a lawyer than my uncle for those... Well, close to 2 hours.

People who know me know I have issues with the little family I am in contact with, including my immediate family. We don't get along and there's a lot of bad memories in my past that I don't typically talk about anymore. Today was kind of a reminder that for as broad as my family is, so little of it is there for me and the little bit that is there, well. They kinda suck. Or they did suck at some point, anyway. Even if they do try to make up for it these days.

I don't know, right now. It wasn't a great Labor Day. It really wasn't a great week and it hasn't been a great month. I guess for now, the best I can do is keep trying harder to work toward a brighter tomorrow.

If that's what I'm even working toward.

~Class Dismissed~