Check, please!

So despite being this... Egotistically lovable, weird, mysterious, insanely unusual and typically pretty laid back person... I am subject, nay, victim to random, harsh fits of depression. I have been since I was a child. Although, when I was a child, I guess I had a better "excuse" for it, as my childhood wasn't ideal [but really... Who's ever is?]

I got a nice dose of that age-old depression today and it makes me wonder. Why do I get these fits? Why does anyone? I mean, a few people have lives that... Well, they suck. People live on the street, people live on corners and take money to do horrible things to them. Some people have lost their homes, money, family and basically everything else imaginable.

Me? I work in a warehouse at a steady job that pays me enough to get my bills paid, I have an amazing girlfriend whom I love and she loves me back. We're considering getting our first place together and I'm already vaguely figuring out how and when to propose to her. I have friends, from decent to the best of the best. I'm not sick or even that unhealthy. I'm in decent shape, considering my job's physical demands. I'm not poor or in debt.

What the Hell do I have to be depressed about? My entire life cannot be so bad to feel this bad. I can compare my life to dozens of people I know and I'm on freaking cloud nine.

I think people are short-sighted. Or selfish. Or both. But especially selfish. I'm not looking anywhere but my life when I get these depressions, and thus, I'm not grateful for what I have.

You know what holiday is a crock? A bloody failure? Thanksgiving. No one's thankful anymore. We're thankful for maybe a day in front of our family and friends and then the next day, BAM! Right back to whatever it is that's concerning our attention about our own lives at that point in time. Too busy worrying about ourselves.

Now, not everyone is that bad. Not everyone is as selfish and thoughtless as I am for being depressed over... Nothing. Some people are great people and actually think and care for other things, other than themselves. Some are selfish in a third-party kind of way, as their concerns don't stretch farther than their friends or family or people in THEIR lives.

A very select few are openly caring. A terrorist could trip and break his neck and they'd feel bad someone had to die. It's almost... Annoying how caring these kinds of people can be, but do we need more of them? Do we deserve more of them?

Probably not. We're probably screwed and lost and already going to Hell in a variety of hand baskets. And you know what? Those people that we don't deserve? At all? Because we don't deserve them, they will be compelled to help us more. Harder. Sacrifice more. And in the end, maybe because of that it won't be in vain. It won't be wasted effort.

Maybe in the end, we'll all be worth a damn.

So think on that philosophy. Before it's too late.