Evolution Revolution

Just think. Once upon a time, this mature, handsome, modest catch of a man was a child, a teenager. And back in the day, though it's hard to believe, he was a lot more close-minded about a lot of different things. Music, movies, people... [No, I was never racist. It had nothing to do with race, more about how a person acted] pretty much anything you can think of. I only listened to a certain kind of a music, dressed a certain way and did pretty much everything this way, never that way or those ways because they were the ways of "losers" or "normal" people. I didn't like entire genres of music because the friends I kept didn't seem to like them and I admit, I wanted to be cool.

Of course, I also actually DO like the things I was into. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an utter sell-out where I put myself through misery just to be liked. I was never that bad.

But now that I'm "older" [21 is "older"?! For this little bit, I guess it has to be to make the sentence work. But that's neither here nor there] I can see signs all around me that I'm evolving as a person without limitations or restricting mindsets.

I can openly admit there's music out there that some people scoff at... Britney Spears' "Radar" song. That immensely popular "Fire Burning" song from Sean Kingston... Having grown up listening to almost only KoRn, Slipknot, Marilyn Manson, Seether, Disturbed and other "heavy metal" bands, these kinds of things are a major turn around for me.

Same thing with movies, but I guess you can blame my sister for that. Her sense of what's cool is very different than mine, as she's into rap, likes what most people would call "stupid funny" movies and tends to dress a lot more "jock" than I ever did. She and I would watch movies that we both liked, but I don't think I ever let anyone else realize or know that I did. "How High" is a great reference, as we always used to watch it when my sister came home to do laundry.

Then there are things that I simply opened up about without caring about opinions from other people. I openly admit that I am very strict with what I believe is right and not right, that I'm opinionated to a fault and that I have no problem being the asshole in any situation. Sometimes, I even feel that assholishness is necessary... Sometimes, someone has to say the things no one wants to hear to realize that things have to change or be realized. That someone is usually me. Sometimes, someone has to do things that people may not want to do but know they're the right things to BE done. That someone is usually me.

Of course, I also have to be more open minded that I'm occasionally [sometimes REALLY oftenly] egotistical. This may be one of those times... You've been warned.

I've lost friendships because of the way I am, but I'm actually happy with my personality. I remember being a kid and I would sort of... Assimilate other traits from other people into myself. It helped me relate to other people because we had this one thing in common, but it wasn't a common thing between us until we met and I adopted whatever the trait was. I think I still do it to a degree, but I also believe that my own personality has become strong enough to be itself without anyone's help.

Did that make sense? I re-read it about three times and wasn't sure. Maybe all of this rambling is really... Me talking myself up. My ego getting the better of me.

After all... What else could talking about myself be, aside from ego? Except maybe... TRUTH?!

~Class Dismissed~